Author(s): Mike Haskins
You'll never be able to sing 'When I'm 64' again or complain about politicians being old and out of touch - they're now all younger than you and out of touch. However, look on the bright side: you've already outlived Mozart by 30 years and youngsters will seek your sage advice on how to play vinyl records. Not only that, you can boast that you still have to pay for your TV licence.
Mike Haskins and Clive Whichelow have written for Smack the Pony, Dead Ringers and Spitting Image as well as for The Mail on Sunday, the Express and The Daily Mirror.